Most marriages survive affairs. But what if yours’ can thrive? Affairs are devastating, but can be a wake up call that can create an opportunity of a more sustainable marriage.

…Whatever skills they were learning in my office felt like they were going out the window. Why? Because you can have all the tools but if you don’t master the first one, you won’t be able to use the others..

Over half of the couples on my schedule right now have one partner with ADHD (and some I suspect). Is it coincidence or is it that ADHD wreaks havoc on marriage? It turns out that ADHD does affect marriages and it does so in very predictable (and harmful) ways.

When people find out I’m a couples therapist, the first question I often get is whether my couples fight all the time. The answer is sometimes, but fighting is actually not the problem. The truth is, couples need to be able to disagree and, yes, sometimes fight.

The bad news is divorce changes children’s lives in every way, ways you cannot possibly predict. The good news is we can lessen the negative effects but it takes knowledge and constant work on our part. This is why some of the most rewarding work I do is coaching divorced or divorcing parents on becoming the best co-parents they can be.

Couples often come to me with resentment that’s built up over years. I remember one couple that seemed stuck on something that happened years earlier. The husband looked at me clearly exasperated, “I’ve apologized a thousand times, it was years ago, I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’m not happy” “I love you but I’m not in love”  “I want a divorce” … In cases like these where divorce is on the table, couples therapy is not the answer. Discernment Counseling is.

Contempt is poison. It says “I’m better than you,” “You’re stupid,” “What you’re saying doesn’t matter.” Most of the couples that come to me want more connection and intimacy. Contempt kills both.

A question I get every day from couples is how to maintain or jump-start intimacy after having kids.

Jen launched into a rant about their weekend trip to the Cape and how exhausting it was for her to prepare and pack everything, wrangle their three kids, get everyone ready for the beach every day and dinners every night, etc. “It’s never a vacation for me.”

Hands down the request I get the most from new couples is improved communication. So, here are the things that I most often see in the couples I work with that you can begin to notice and to practice handling in a different way today…

You may be familiar with some of the more common symptoms of trauma. For instance, it’s well known that people can suffer from flashbacks after trauma or feel triggered by reminders of the event. But not every symptom of trauma is obvious.

If you’re suffering from symptoms of depression, you might be ready to reach out for professional support. Perhaps you’re thinking about working with a therapist. Yet you’re not really sure what therapy will entail. Before you book an appointment, you want to know what improvements you can expect.

Many women find themselves with low self-confidence in adulthood. Women face so much pressure to fulfill unrealistic standards that it can be difficult to maintain a sense of self-worth in the face of society’s expectations.

Couples often struggle with communication. In fact, unhealthy communication patterns can be the root cause of countless relationship problems. An inability to communicate in a mature, patient manner can spell out the end of a partnership.